We all want to be happy all the time, right? I know I certainly do. But what happens when we are not? What happens when the fix has worn off? We feel bad, like a failure and start the search again for this “perpetual state of happiness.”
Yes, it seems as if we are all searching high and low for this so-called happiness and once we find it we believe life will be all “puppy dogs and roses.”
Well this is certainly what I used to believe anyhow. That was until I had one of those light-bulb moments whilst reading a book called “INVITING A MONKEY TO TEA” by Nancy Colier.
As I was reading this book I felt myself nodding along with every page and felt relieved to realise that it is not an achievable goal to expect to be able to be happy all of the time. Partly due to the fact that “happiness relies on controlling circumstances that, no matter how hard we try, we cannot control. It relies on circumstances staying the same. Life’s circumstances do not – ever – stay the same. This is the nature of life.”
So is there a workable alternative? If we cannot maintain perpetual happiness what is it that we should aim for instead in order to feel a sense of well-being?
According to Nancy, there is a way to feel grounded and well even when the contents of our life are not that way.
She talks about achieving ‘contentment,’ which means allowing whatever is going on in your mind (the monkey) to just happen without trying to control or change it and then making peace with it and distancing yourself from the emotions and feelings. In other words, not letting the emotions or feelings dictate your whole being. Once you master this, Nancy believes that you can always feel content and well.
The book details how you go about achieving this as well as topics such as fear, acceptance and surrender.
As I said earlier, reading this book was like a switch had been activated in my head. It makes so much sense to me to be able to get myself to a point where I can feel well and content even when the circumstances in my life are challenging and difficult.
So, from this point on I am doing away with my happiness addiction – and instead of trying to hunt it down, I will be grateful for the times it appears in my life. I am also going to try to achieve contentment and work towards not letting my monkey mind take over but instead just allow it to natter away in the background.
Who knows, I might even invite the monkey to tea!
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Nancy Colier or her book ‘Inviting A Monkey To Tea.’ I have not received any compensation and all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Underneath The Mummy Hat 